My wedding

Well... it's finally over ;)

Just thought I should jot down some of my thoughts before the wedding hype is over (actually it's very much over also, haha)

Sum up my wedding budget already... better than expected, felt that money was well spent, in areas that we prioritised in

I was just wondering something, is it just me, or all the brides would be happy with how their wedding end up? Not that I'm complaining, but this is what I noticed, my wedding was not without flaws, but good thing is, we can all forget about the imperfections and focus on the good things that happen. Life would be so much better if we could apply this to everyday's life, that we can focus on the good things and forget about the flaws

Well, there are things that I was still trying to overcome, such as the fact that some frens that I really hoped they would come didn't managed to come, but I try to tell myself, well, it's their loss that they didnt come ;), but hey, nothing is perfect

So... what's my favourites?

- Sunny in the best of his mood - the most worrying part for me, but it turned out fantastic, never seen him smile & laugh more in a day

- The flowers and decorations - Thanked my aunts over and over again, for the fantastic flower decor, especially the arch, my total favourite, think it'll be one of my fondest memory. Though mum thought it was too much effort, but if I can tell my grandchildren with a smile of my face... I think it's totally worth it

- The wedding photos - Haha... I haven't even got hold of it, how can it be my favourite? Well, just the expressed slideshow shocked us, I mean, I know Louis Pang is good, just didn't think he was that good. We were both not particularly photogenic, that's why I knew we needed professional help, or what I call, 'miracle worker', well, in deed we got the right person
Sunny's been watching the slideshow over and over again, as for me, I got 'jelak' after a while, after all, I'm not particularly fond of my own face, especially the portraits, give me goosebump when I watch too many times. My favourites in the photos are mainly those that portray strong emotions, like one that we laughed so loud in my living room, and some of the teaser photos, and the photo of my brother-in-law and his niece (one of the nicest non-wedding portrait I've seen, and I've seen real lots of photos, k?)

Well, I stopped telling ppl how much Louis Pang costs, because for me, it's well worth the price, every single penny, but I also know, most ppl don't agree, for many reasons, the most likely one is, they are not as particular with photos like the two of us, I still remember how hard it was to find a wedding photographer whom both of us approves, I wanted emotions captured while Sunny insists that photographer needs to have proper technical skill (still not sure what it means until today), and when we were down to 2 photographers, we took the cheaper one (cheapskate us, sorry Louis, it basically means you could charge more? :p)

So, what have I learned from the wedding? Well, I would appreciate other's wedding more, since I know now how much effort the couples put in, and how important it was, for their valued frens to attend. Sorry to those whom I missed their weddings due to the fact that I was abroad, but to those who are going to be married soon, rest assured, I'll try my best to not just attend, but to help out too, all you need to do is ask

I probably missed out quite a lot... since a lot has faded over the last 3 weeks, will add when I remember more

Goodbye 2008, Hello 2009

Haha... it's been so long since I last written (as usual)

So much have happened since, too much until I don't know where to start

I tendered and retracted and decided to move to another department; it's all about passion and how to keep myself happy at work

The world economy bubble burst, my GBP strunk until I don't bother to check the rate anymore, part of the reason why I couldn't lose my job

Bought an apartment for investment purpose... hope it turns out fine

A LOT of my frens gave birth to their first baby... Azah, Azizah, Ai nee, Yueh Li, Jean, Jer Sern's wife just to name a few, very happy for them, and hope the best to their new family life

I moved in to our new house, a place we can truly call home, but the place is still disastrous, think I'm the worst homemaker ever

Of course, I got married, legally and ceremonially, more on that in the next post (I hope I have enough determination to finish that off :p)

So... that's my 2008, very eventful, did so much that I can't imagine another year that can beat it

How's 2009 looking?
Hope work steers to the better side, hope M&T is in fact where my passion lies (at least for a while)
Hope everything with family members (now include hubby and in-laws) go smoothly
As always, all I wanted is, everyone is healthy, happy and contented (that is so broad until it even covers world peace, hahaha)

And Azizah, if you happen to read this, I sincerely hope Hakimi gets through the 'challenge' smoothly, and you must remain calm and strong to help him through.

First week back at work

Surprisingly, it was only 3 weeks since my last post, on the train to Edinburgh. It feels ages ago, so long gone that I've forgotten how does it feel to put on a winter coat, or to walk under drizzle (not rain!), and enjoying the sun where it gives you warmth and not sweat

It is probably a bad idea to blog this from office server, but hey, I've nothing to hide. This is more or less the same as what I wrote on Global People Survey (it is one thing that I've never missed in my PwC life - write my lenghty comments every year)

So... how does it feel to go back to the office that I often missed? Well... it's different, very different from what I was expecting, not so much of the physical difference, I was expecting that, after all we moved to a brand new building, with better infrastructure

I know most of my buddies left, I know there'll be mainly new faces when I get back, I just wasn't expecting the rock bottom resources situation (believe me when I say rock bottom, although I've said it many times throughout the 4.5 years, if it can get lower, it has to be 'vacuum' condition already)

Why some people can stay longer than others? IMHO, it is the emphasis of that person; if it is solely work, he/she wouldn't last; if it is of the people, he/she would last as long as the rest is around. I guess the conclusion is, I do not believe in sustainable resources in this line, the only difference is how big is the gap you are looking to close down, and currently? Massive

I felt that I'm beginning to ramble, better stop it now

5 days... and I've already came across all the negative thoughts existed - sad, helpless, anger, frustration, feeling rejected, scared, worried.. you name it

Was it really that bad, you may ask. Actually I don't think so, because this is just the beginning of a very long tough road (of course, unless if I'm willing to give up everything I have now - which I might just have to). Then, why do I feel so terrible? Simply because I did not get the support that I was expecting, maybe I expected too much? Maybe it's just different now, I'm playing in a completely different league, and I'm the only one to be blamed for, to end up here

Gosh... what a depressing post. Hope the weekend bring an end to this and I'll start fresh again (a week less from the 18 months bond, perhaps that is something worth celebrating - I am that desperate)

Secretly thinking, what would fate bring on in the next 18 months? I'm not optimistic, can only sort out one thing at a time, and pray that I've enough strength to face whatever there is

My first & possibly last solo trip

Haha, what a catchy title, but it's probably true, of all ppl, Sunny is the person who's least supportive when it comes to me going on solo trips, even my mum worries less than him.
Anyway, the day started perfectly, with me waking up an hour earlier, so no problem of chasing after train as i usually would.
And i managed to get the free wifi to work (finally) and blog from my pda on the train.
Btw, it's a 5 day trip to Edinburgh & other parts of Scotland, should be able to describe more on 31 on my way back, in the meantime, i shall just sit back and relax

It's almost a week since Malaysia's GE 12

Why did I write the post so late? Apart from the usual laziness creeping in, I guess I just want myself to cool down a little, and no jump to conclusions.

I was so excited on Saturday, went to the office, planning to do work. But got nothing done, because I'm just too anxious to follow the GE results, and compare notes with others.

I'm suddenly so concerned of Malaysian politics, I've learned more about the politicians in the past 2 weeks than the past 2 decades

No doubt, this will be one of the most important general election in Malaysian history, marking the commencement of a stronger opposition/alternative party or whatever you want to call them.

Although I didn't managed to vote, I still feel very very involved in this election. I've voted once, in 2004, however, I hardly knew what I was doing. Like most of the other people, Badawi's vow to combat corruption really looks appealing (I did believe him once, but we all know what happened after that) I msg-ed everyone on my IM list, to 'remind' them to go vote, only to find out >50% of my contacts are NOT registered to vote, very very dissapointing. Anyway, I verbally abused them a little, just to make sure that they will register in time for the next election. Most of the time, I did not ask them to vote for a particular party, or person, with just 1 exception. I lobbied everyone I know in Sg Siput, or have contacts in Sg Siput, so they would vote against Samy Vellu. Yes, that's how much I DESPISED him, a man that I've never met in person, nevertheless hated since I was little, when I see him talk rubbish on the TV. hated him even more when I got affected by MRR2 closure, and everytime the toll price increased
During that period of time, a lot of people (including my mother) asked me not to put too much hope on my little mission, because it is unlikely that people from a small town like Sg Siput would care too much outside their properly equipped town, which the largest town hall, not a single broken streetlamp or no holes on the road at all. But I went ahead, trying to convince them too, that voters from Sg Siput are not morons, surely they will empathise and re-consider their decisions once we explained to them what is HIS impact to the rest of the country. Does the result prove me right? Maybe, or maybe the 'Just change' slogan worked very well in the northern peninsular. Nevermind, the results are what matters

Well, am I pleased with the results? Yes, very pleased. It is all that I've asked for. I have 3 wishes before the election.
1) Denied BN's 2/3 majority - It really sounded impossible before the election, especially with the last minute withdrawal of indellible ink and postal voters and other things
2) Samy Vellu losing Sg Siput seat - I can't tell you how happy I was that he lost. I felt as though I've won the battle, although it was Jeyakumar's battle. I salute him, for putting up such a lengthy battle, and inspired by him, I was even ready to put up another fight when the next election comes. Sunny came up with this fantastic idea of registering ourselves within Sg Siput area, so that we can increase the opposing votes by 2 (loved him even more for being so supportive), although it is no longer necessary now
3) Tony Pua winning PJU parliamentary seat - I have nothing against CMF, but I just think Tony deserves an opportunity. So many have abandoned or given up Malaysia, as soon as they got a chance. But someone as talented as Tony decided to come back and contribute, how can we not give him a chance?

And yes, all 3 of my humble wishes came true! I sort of wished I make more wishes before that, such as Khairy lose as well etc

Apart from me, I believe many other Malaysian youngsters learned a lot in this election. How important it is to be politically concious, also the fact that, we should not give up on our country, because, WE are the ones who can make a difference. We should never blame it on the system, that there's nothing we can do about how the country works. We are part of the system, of course we could make a difference. It is indeed one of the most magical moment in my life, that there's hope, once again, that things do not have to be how it is. I'm inspired on 8 March 2008, are you inspired?

I saw a ray of light, although we know it is still far from a reasonably good political environment, at least we have make 1 significant step forward, and for that, it is worth celebrating.

p/s: I sort of regretted not holding my farewell drinks on 8 March instead, we could have celebrated this very meaningful victory with some drinks

About giving up

I suddenly learnt something. Apparently most Malaysian who have lived abroad before would consider at some point, to give up their own country. Some people did eventually, some did not, and no, this post is not about racism, because we all know, there are plenty of bumiputras who gave up too. Question is why give up? and not give up?



There is this saying, that is crossing my mind over and over again
‘恨铁不成钢’


Based on the timing and everything, it's not hard to guess that all this came about due to the coming GE2008. What is so wrong with the system? That people would rather leave to start all over again, fitting into a culture that is not yourselve's, trying to call a new place 'home'. Not a lot of people do that, or should I say, not a lot of people apart from us do that.
I used to be quite proud, that we Malaysians can fit into any environment, at this young age, I have friends my age working all over the world, and I thought that is something to be proud of, until now, that I'm no longer sure.
What kind of country let their own talents move away so easily? You might say, the Philippines do that as well, don't they? Let's not forget that 10% of their GDP comes from remittance of the foreign workers income. I doubt we have this number, in fact, I'll be glad if the foreign income remitted is more than the personal funds used overseas (it's a totally different post if we go into government funds spent overseas), mainly to fund the tertiary education of the youngsters. Anyway, the philippinos that I know work overseas with a view to go back to re-unite with their families, while Malaysians intend to build their families overseas

Before this, I am so used to the mindset that we are 'Malaysian Malays', 'Malaysian Chinese' and 'Malaysian Indian', where Malaysian is the adjective of our ethinicity, and not the other way around. One might argue that is just jargons, doesn't mean much. However, we all know how we tag each other with the 'habit' tags, the classic being lazy, kiasu and liar respectively
I only learnt very recently that, it doesn't have to be like that, all this are not just politically wrong, but fundamentally wrong. Although our cultural roots are not in Malaysia, there is so many things that we developed within Malaysia, away from our so called 'cultural origin'. It is so wrong, when a MP ask non-bumputras to go back to their home country, Malaysia is our home country, not anywhere else.
What do you do? When you were being isolated by your peers? That, is the reason why people consider to give up, some fight (very little though), some just endure whatever that is pushed on them.

I certainly am not ready to give up, like it or not, this is the only place I could call home, and it will just be harder, to start over. I guess I have to endure for the time being, and fight back whenever I can. I could not stop others to give up, because their concerns are totally valid. Apart from not giving up myself, and motivate others not to give up as well, I really do not know what else I could do.

It is kind of a pessimistic post, isn't it? The whole political scene is very demoralising, I just felt that I'm hoping for a miracle this Saturday

Quotes... about teenage years

Saw this on an online novel

整個青春期，真的要講的話，我會說像長了一顆智齒。長的過程中時好時壞，有時痛得讓人睡不穩吃不下，有時又安安靜靜好像壓根兒沒這回事，有時只是悶悶的脹脹的找不到痛點在哪裡。有時牙床位置太小長得好累，有時還得發幾次燒共襄盛舉，一個不小心還會長歪，而辛辛苦苦的長完之後，卻是在人類進化史上被認為無意義的幾顆牙。除了蛀掉之外，就難逃被拔除的命運。 不管怎樣，都會痛。而且是很痛。 長完這麼無用，過程中間經歷的艱辛，不知道是為了什麼。

Mingbay 玉之器

She is my 2nd favourite online novelist, I love her 'winter holiday'. Still remember reading it the night I bought it from the book fair, in the hostel where I'm all alone (it's semester break). It was such a great story.

Back to this online novel that I'm reading, I'm only 1/3 through.. and can't really relate much, it's about a teenage girl with 2 of her best buddies (you see... I studied in a girl school for 11 years, this kind of story is just unimaginable to me)
Anyway, the quote really touched me.. did I had a horrible teenage years? Not quite, but certainly, it could have been better. I too, like her, hoping that I'll be like others, to have a lot of special skills, to be a little bit outstanding...
That's all over (Thank goodness?)...

How was your teenage years? Were you the one that I wished I could be? Were you the one who can't wait to grow up?